Thursday, January 08, 2009

Monk at Work Tries to Kill His Inner Perfectionist

Unfortunately, this will NEVER work. We can't "kill" our parts, even the ones we do not like. But the cool thing is that if we give them a chance to act in healthier ways, they can actually serve us well.

Contrary to what the Monk says about his Perfectionist and astrology, the stars and planets have nothing to do with it. It's about coping strategies when we were very young. At some point, the Monk, like me, learned that not making mistakes is a way to get attention or prevent suffering - so the Perfectionist was born.

If we can understand how and why the Perfectionist developed, then we have taken a huge step toward reducing its power over us. In doing so, we can free the Perfectionist to serve us as a useful part of our lives, rather then us serving it as its slave.

Anyway, here is the beginning of The Monk at Work's article.

Why You Should Kill Your Inner Perfectionist

perfectionism sucks

Infinity Rain

Okay, so I’ve got 3 planets in Virgo, and a double-grand-trine (and two T-squares) in Air. What does that mean? For those of us (‘cause I’m one of ‘em) who don’t have much of a background in astrology, it basically means I’m frogged.

Not really. It means I’m smart. Yay for me. But it also means I’m a perfectionist out the wazoo, so all these great ideas I have? All the amazing connections I see between things? All the creative impulses I have? They ride on the backs of turtles, past huge guardians of Quality Control, on their slow march towards freedom. It’s a wonder you’re even reading this. But who knows, you might not - I might edit this before I publish it.

I’m not alone, I know this.

You’re probably a perfectionist, too. And if you aren’t, you’ve probably got enough of an internal censor to grasp what I’m saying, even though you may not be bleeding in the trenches with the rest of us. If that’s you, well, good on ya; pass the gauze, will you?

Perfectionism, in its most beautiful out-picturing, is a valiant effort to maintain a degree of quality that you feel the world deserves. It’s a beautiful place, this world of ours, and dadgum, if you’re going to contribute something to it, it should be as beautiful as the rest, right? “Quality is job #1”, and all that. What a wonderful intention!

Perfectionism, unfortunately, also has a downside. When it’s ugly, it’s really not much more than fear of judgment projected outwards. You fear judgment, so you edit and polish and edit some more until either the thing shines, or withers away to nothingness, with no more substance than those dry, crackly vanilla wafer cookie things they sell at Quickie-Marts.

The bummer, then, is that all too often, your brilliance never gets shared with others. It stays hidden, behind the censors of your fear and doubt, until it dies of loneliness and boredom.

Read the rest of his post.


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